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Building Your Social Confidence

As I sat on a train recently, on my way to a training conference I relished the time I could take on my train journey to have time to my self, to catch up on reading and to do my most favourite pass-time – people watching! Yes, I love observing people! As I did so, I noticed just how much people were “connected” yet in my view, they were connected in all the wrong ways. There were so many sat with not just one device, mobile / laptop/ tablet, but most that I could see from my seat had two things on the go at the same time!!

Gadgets

It got me thinking ……….

These days, the way we talk, connect and communicate to each other is increasingly computer based, but the loss of face to face communication and interaction is having a negative effect on our society. In my hypnotherapy practice this is all too apparent as I see more and more clients who are socially isolated or socially uncomfortable or lacking confidence in being able to communicate.

As we communicate less in actual face to face social interactions we start to lose some of our most valuable communication skills and even younger people are coming to me feeling a lack of confidence or feeing uncomfortable in social situations or at work and school. As I tell my children

“as human beings we are supposed to speak to each other it’s what sets us apart from other animals on the planet!!’.

OK, so I know that we are using programmes like Skype or Facetime which will help the communication, mainly because we can get some of the visual cues by seeing each others faces when we speak, but it is just not the same as being there with the person. As those young people grow do you wonder just how prevalent this lack of confidence of social skills will affect them? Does it already affect you now?

Social Anx

Someone without these skills can look and feel isolated and is not prepared to meet the requirements of a social circumstance; things like celebrations, events and weddings are a real problem as well as in work related situations like meetings, staff or shift changes, team work. It can prevent someone from being able to progress in their job or even their life if they struggle with relationships generally too. A person without these skills can often feel self conscious, worry about

“what will people think”

They also can become panicky, flustered, blushing, have difficulty speaking, believe they will say the wrong thing, will ‘look stupid’ and more then adopt a coping mechanism or a protection for themselves by withdrawing from situations or ensuring they say nothing.

By combining hypnosis with different therapeutic techniques I can help you feel more comfortable this kind of issue quite easily. I can assist individuals to feel more self-assured but that is just not the whole story. Sometimes there are particular events which have happened in the past to knock their confidence like being picked on or mocked at school. Continual comments from critical teacher perhaps or some other person of influence are also causes of diminished self-confidence. When the power and emotion connected to these old events is reduced or even removed then you can move forward more easily without those old emotions being triggered in your current everyday life

Of course, hypnotherapy treatments have limits and it is only part of the therapy. I do not have the elusive magic wand (sorry!). So as well as the work with me in the therapy room I would also advise practicing making more social contacts and having more physical connections with people.

We can rehearse these in a hypnotic state first – called visualization. When we visualize an event or situation happening whilst in the therapy room, the benefit is that when we do it for real our brains believe we have already done it, so it is easier and more comfortable. (There’s a nice bit of neuroscience working for you!)  When you increase these new social relationships, possibly just be joining a book club or going to bingo – (the type of social gathering is irrelevant) as long as there is a communication and interaction with real men and women it becomes easier and easier.

So with this process, I will be helping you to feel assured and at ease. You can gradually build your self-confidence on the solid foundations we have already laid down. This is really the only way to create permanent change in levels and increase confidence and social situations.

Find our more at www.emmalangton.co.uk and read about testimonials from people I have worked with.
Sign up for my Newsletter and get a FREE mp3 download so you can experience it for yourself!
Thanks for reading!
Emma

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Hypnosis – Could it deliver the results?

Hypnotherapy is sometimes a greatly misunderstood practice – many people may think of the typical swinging pocket watch and the phrases ‘stare directly into my eyes… you feel sleepy…’ when they think about hypnosis and we have the mighty Walt Disney and other film and cartoon makers to thank for promoting that in our minds! If not that method, then perhaps you will envision unfortunate audience members being manipulated to start barking like a dog or cluck like chicken.

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Yet true hypnotherapy is no daft party trick; it is a reliable strategy for people to overcome detrimental behaviours, like fear, anxiety, overeating or smoking. We can do this by effectively rewiring the depths of the mind and changing the way we respond to certain situations and changing the way we view those situations. However, it is sensible to ask ‘Does hypnotherapy work?’ if you’re wondering about trying it out for yourself. Since there is much misunderstanding about this type of hypnotherapeutic approach, it’s important for you to learn about the way it helps and what rewards it can bring.

Do you “Put me to sleep?”

We experience hypnosis naturally, many times in our everyday lives.

  • Have you ever got lost in the story of a book or totally absorbed in a film, tv or programme so that you didn’t notice how much time has gone by?
  • Do you ever lay on a beach or in the garden and you are so relaxed in the warmth of the sun that you can’t be bothered to lift your head to see what that noise was, or even what the kids are up to?
  • Are you a jogger or cyclist who can lose themselves in the rhythm of the repetitive action of moving your feet – sometimes called ‘being in the zone’

 All that and more are hypnotic trances. You are not asleep. You are in a deep state of focused awareness and this can be a state of relaxation or during an upbeat activity too. As with these activities, during therapy your visual and auditory awareness is usually retained during a hypnosis session. However, due to the fact our perception of time shifts when we are in a hypnotic state, numerous people are dumbfounded by the span of time that has passed in the hypnotic aspect of the session.

Whilst in this ‘state’ using different therapeutic tools and techniques and by making use of the subconscious mind I can then work with you to change unhelpful thinking with new constructive thoughts. The subconscious remembers all of what we have seen or dealt with, unlike the conscious mind which rather quickly forgets the majority of our experiences. A hypnotic approach works by gaining access to these concealed images and beliefs to create new, more favourable beliefs and behaviours.

Genuine success

Since Matt Damon said to Jay Leno on TV seeing a hypnotherapist was “the greatest decision I ever made in my life”, it seems that it became the coolest thing to do in Hollywood. Stacks of sports stars, movie stars, politicians, and other famous people are turning to  hypnotherapy for addictions, phobias, fears  and weight loss.

  • Britain’s Prince Harry used hypnotherapy to quit smoking
  • Pregnant Kate Middleton used Hypnotherapy to regain appetite following morning sickness
  • Supermodel Kate Moss used Hypnotherapy for pregnancy
  • Mel B is getting hypnosis for stage fright
  • Actress/model Eva Mendes had hypnotherapy to overcome her arachnophobia – an irrational fear of spiders. 

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Even though a hypnotic approach might have only just acquired widespread awareness, it is definitely not a new strategy – at the end of the 19th century, a commissioned study by the British Medical Association found that “as a therapeutic agent hypnotism is frequently effective in relieving pain, procuring sleep, and alleviating many functional ailment.”

Einstein is even believed to have used it!

With more than one hundred years of favourable feedback, and many personal successes, hypnotherapy gives a tried-and-tested solution to solve a large selection of issues.

Find our more at www.emmalangton.co.uk and read about testimonials from people I have worked with.

Sign up for my Newsletter and get a FREE mp3 download so you can experience it for yourself!  

Thanks for reading!

Emma

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What’s Eurovision Got To Do with Hypnotherapy?

Eurovision song contest this weekend! Will you be watching?

Whether you love it or hate it there are many benefits that we can all get from singing. When I say singing, it can be signing privately in the shower or the car or signing publicly like in a choir or on karaoke or any other singing in between!

  • Deep breathing, of course is necessary to belt out a tune yet deep breathing is also a key part to meditation any many other relaxation techniques.
  • The deep breathing also helps the body produce ‘feel good’ chemicals – endorphins and those endorphins are great for reducing stress levels
  • Building confidence for those who like to sing in public places such as the karaoke crooners or choristers and group singers.

Singing in a group, often but not exclusively choirs, has been seen to have a really positive effect on people’s lives. This is part is due to the singing but also because we are, by nature, social animals and so by combining the social aspect of singing and deep breathing and expressing ourselves it increases wellbeing.

Now often when people come to see me for Hypnotherapy, whatever their issue, one of the first things I teach them is some sort of breathing technique. In Hypnotherapy we don’t expect you to burst in to song (that may be too much to ask!!!) yet I will work with you to find a breathing technique that is right for you; that you can use for your particular issue and also in every day life. Isn’t there always something out there in the world, in our day to day routines that cause us to get stressed or irritated or worried? Breathing techniques can help you in those situations.

As I’ve already mentioned, there are the additional positive effects of breathing (and singing) that can have on your lives. So whether you decide to come to see me to learn a breathing technique or other useful tool, or if you are singing, do it often, whether you feel you need to or not!

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Check our my webpage and get in touch direct for more information on the work I can do with you using Hypnotherapy, NLP and Coaching.  www.emmalangton.co.uk